Friday, March 4, 2011

Preschool, Pushing and Teeth

These boys are getting so huge. I can't even believe how tall and full of attitude they are lately. Sometimes I get Tyler dressed and he puts his hands in his pockets and stares at me and I think I should change him in to footie PJ's or something. He's only three and there is so much packed into that LOOK...the slouched, hands in pockets, slightly narrowed eyes look. Where does he get it? Neither Mike nor I are remotely cool like that, but he just exudes this cool confidence. Interesting kid he is. He's all about dancing to music now, and putting his hands on his hips at the end of each performance, thanks to the Old Navy "Ankle Jeans" commercial. He sings into his clenched fist for lack of a better microphone because they currently have no toys. Zero. I even took away their table and chairs. They are on a destructive rampage, and until they can learn to respect what they do have (currently 3 throw pillows, their trampoline cause it was too big to move, a throw blanket, their car ramp, but no cars and the 2 couches) then they won't be earning their toys back. We are on day two of no toys and we'll see if they can earn back a couple cars to play with the car ramp.

Tyler is doing fabulous at school. He does call his preschool teacher by his EI therapist name, and can't seem to be convinced of anything else. I asked him why her name was Gen and he said, "FUN!"...apparently anyone who is fun, must have the name Gen. My name is not Gen :) While brushing his teeth last night, I found at least 1 new molar, maybe two, but by 8 PM all my alligator wrestling energy is pretty much used up, so I couldn't be sure. Six year molars! That's crazy talk.

Matthew's chugging toward two with all the steam of Thomas but none of the play nicely with friends morals. He's exuding his own extra special form of personality and I have to say, I'm not super thrilled. Everyone tells me how he's easy going and sweet. He's not. Matty is a complete bully. He really is. He not overly tall for his age, but because of the hypertonia, he's so much stronger than other kids. Now if it was just a matter of him being enthusiastic, and not knowing his own strength, that would be one thing, but grabbing a boy that's 3 inches taller and 1.5 years old by the back collar of his sweatshirt and then dragging him around while he cries? Totally not cool kid. Matty is just a different kid than Tyler. Tyler might take toys and run away, or throw toys, and maybe even a quick smack at another kid, but for the most part, his anger, frustration, and and tendencies toward full on violence are directed at me. Not Matty, Matty will grab a block and smack another kid upside the head with it, then while they stand and cry, he'll push them down and sit on them, and take their toy. He's so far beyond "boy" I want to sit on the floor and cry with the kid. Add that to Matthew's new gift for smiling and smirking at me while in time out and I'm starting to comb the library for new parenting books. I always knew Tyler was a challenge, and much of that is his speech delay, and sensory and behavioral challenges, but it was always directed at ME...which made it okay somehow? At least I didn't have to apologize over and over to the poor parents who make the mistake of bringing their children to play group.

Today we left play group after the drag by the collar episode. There had already been a bloody lip episode which I'm taking responsibility for being caused by one of my children, but there were no competent verbal witnesses. I love that his mother claimed he must have bit his lip when in reality we all know someone smacked him with something in the face. Anyway, while I packed up our stuff, Matty sat, totally indifferent to the fact he was in time out. When we got home, I told him he was going right up for his nap because we did NOT put hands on friends. He sat on the floor and made almost no attempt to get his shoes off...which he can totally do, but likes to be lazy and ignore me in hopes I will do it. Scatterbrained Tyler had both his off, his jacket off and all of that put away and Matty was still sitting on the floor with a glazed over look on his face, ignoring me. So he went to bed with all of it on. Shoes, jacket, the whole thing. I'm sure I'll have to change his sheets later, but I was going to have a nervous breakdown. How do you make a kid take off their shoes? He makes his hands all floppy, and his ankles like rubber, and in the end, I take off the shoes. If I raise my voice at all, he shrinks away from me like I'm a child abuser and cries. I think it's a classic avoidance technique, but I'm not sure.

So I figure this is okay, I'll get through. Tyler is improving, Matty will swing the other way and make me crazy, and in the middle of it all, a 2.5 year old, non-English speaking Lily will come home.

I love my life :)

1 comment:

Nicole said...

Been reading your blog and I have to say, your story has drawn me in. We're in the process of adopting from China.

Your two domestic situations went so quickly. What agency did you work with for those?