Adoptive Families BBQ

Today Mike and I went to a BBQ that was all adoptive families. We had the greatest time. There was a circle of families, all with babies about Ty's age...many of them also black, and it was so nice, to sit among other "non matching" families and feel like we were the norm. We accepted when we adopted Ty that we were also accepting the additional attention, but sometimes, it's nice to be the same as everyone else. We met a single Mom there that has a black baby boy that is one month older and 10 pounds heavier than Ty. They are truly on opposite sides of the growth charts :) However if we both stay in Amesbury, they would be in the same class through school. How cool is that! She wants us to get together every other month or so and talk about the things we each do to that help us raise a child successfully in a transracial adoption. I think that would really be a great support for us!

We also met a wonderful little girl, Tess who was adopted from Ethiopia. I am really hoping that in 2010, I'll be making a trip to Ethiopia, but we're going to see where our journey takes us. We know that Ty will have siblings (I'm hoping for many) but it remains to be seen how they will find us. We had faith that the "right" child would find us, and be our first child, so we'll keep the faith that all our children will find us when the time is right...

Seven Months Ago Today

We met Ty for the first time. At this time (10:30 EST) it was 9:30 there and were just wrapping up our time at cradle care, and heading out to find somewhere to sleep that night (our hotel plans got all screwed up)...I had given him a bottle, and we had changed a diaper (maybe two)...we were both in awe, and in love. We had a son...

Sometimes...I ignore my dogs...

Now wait a minute! Before everyone that knows us starts nodding their head knowingly, just wait. I'm sure many think, sure she doesn't care one bit about those poor dogs since she got Ty. We'll that's just NOT the case at all! I do ignore them, but, I HAVE to! Really, I ignore them like 3 two year olds having a full blown tantrum. See when we first get home and let them out of their kennels, they are EXCITED. They want to run and jump and play and bark and growl. I want them to do all that too! OUTSIDE!!!! But they want to do it right next to me, nearly on me and taking me out at the knees. I've trained Dudley (the smartest as far as I'm concerned) that when I say, "Outside!" he best head for the dog door. About 50% of the time, Daisy will follow her...if the little dog will let got of her ears she will anyway. That leaves...You guessed it...D-E-W-E-Y. Crazy insane, little "big" dog. He thinks since the other dogs are outside, *I* must want to play, so he proceeds to run around me in circles barking and barking and barking. I've finally realized in order to get them all outside at once (as to avoid some dogs running out the door while other run in...chaos) I issue the "Outside" command, and them must fold my arms (so they can't lick my fingers) and turn and put myself in the corner. Usually I'm laughing and have to make sure the little dog doesn't see. I put myself in the corner and feel absolutely ridiculous that I treat my dogs like children...even more ridiculous is how much $$ we've paid to "train" these dogs and how we can just never back it up. I'm getting softer by the minute. Today, Ty cried when he was supposed to take a nap, and I GOT HIM OUT OF BED. He smiled. It's all down hill from here...

Ty's 6 month Dr's Appointment

Ty went to the Dr's tonight for his 6 month appointment (well we saw a nurse practitioner, which is our preference) and she said he is just as healthy as can be. He is still very strong for his age, and she said his gross motor skills were ahead of where he should be which is great to hear, because he is still smaller than some kids. He weighed in at 15 pounds 8 ounces (Mommy was exactly right) and 25.5 inches long. His percents were 16 and 20 respectively (his head was 70%..lol). She said we could really start hitting the solids, and as soon as he was passing hand to hand, we could start finger foods. We told her he had been passing hand to hand for about a month and half, maybe more...She said Congratulations! You can start finger foods. And then I cried, cause lets be real...finger foods are the beginning of the end. He is very rapidly crossing from baby to toddler and it seems like no amount of motherly hissy fits will slow the process even a little. She also said that give his gross motor skill we should start baby proofing because she thought he would be crawling in no time, and cruising before we know it.

BOOOOO :(

Almost 6 months!

On Saturday, my little tiny, scrunched up, curled up baby boy, turns into a huge, strong, loud, smiling, laughing, rambunctious 6 months old. Okay...it doesn't magically happen on Saturday, it's sort of slowly been happening all along. On Saturday however, I do have to finally admit, Ty is rapidly moving toward toddler hood. In fact, with his brand spanking new HAIRCUT that he got last Friday, he looks so big and mature, 2 people have already said he looks like a toddler. The hair cut makes his eyes look so big though :) He's such a beautiful baby! I mean almost toddler!

I think we're going to try and get his 6 month pictures taken in the next week or so. He's changed so much just since his 3 month pictures, I can't wait ;)

We have one more week till vacation, then we'll be away for one whole blissful week as a family. My mom and step dad are coming up (to see their grand children, I have no illusions) so they will stay at my Uncle's cottage on Newfound Lake. We rented a huge house (at least it looks huge) that is about 4 miles away, and we're sharing it with my sister and her family. In that one house there will be 4 adults, a 3 year old, a 15 month old, a 6 month old and FOUR dogs. It BETTER be huge...

BLACK IN AMERICA
We've been watching this series on CNN, and I've enjoyed it for the most part. Very interesting. Upsetting how alive and well racism still is in this nation. Not surprising, since I'm aware of it, and work against it actively every day...but upsetting. The education of black children vs the education of white children is astounding.

Moving along to after education, educated black men in the work place have the same chance of getting a call back on a job interview as a white man with a criminal conviction. Being a black man is the same as being a criminal in this country...STILL! WHY have we not made more progress than this?

One thing we've realized is how important appearances are for black Americans over and above how important it is to other races. In many large places of employment there are many people that may not speak English fluently. They might be speaking English as a second language even. However when a black person comes to apply for a position, if they speak with any type of AA dialect, it is often seen as a sign indicating lack of education. It's preferable to hire someone who speaks English as a second language over a black American who might speak with a racial dialect. Even black Americans with college education are often passed over for interviews because they use language common in black communities.

Do some black people "make it" sure...they make it into largely white communities where their children are harassed and placed under suspicion by the police for no reason. Somethings gotta change...

Post Placement

We have our final post placement visit on Sunday...WooHoo. I know he's "ours" and he's here, but I can't wait for that silly piece of paper to tell us what we already know...We have a SON!

Our social worker comes to the house this time around, but thankfully we're in pretty good shaper cleaning wise. Have to stay on top of that stuff more than we used to now that Ty's around. Don't get me wrong...we still have plenty of hair, just fewer tumbleweeds :)

Once our final visit is complete, we can submit our paperwork to the courts on July 31st (6 months from the termination in MO) and then we sit and wait for a court date. Could take anywhere from 2 weeks to 4 months we hear. I am pretty sure there will be some tears on THAT day :)

We're FARMERS!

Okay, not really. I guess technically we're farming supporters. We finally found a farm to buy a CSA share in (Community Supported Agriculture)...we go each week and pick up our part of the crop for that week. Course we missed all the weeks in June, but what really is harvested in June anyway?? Radishes? So I go today, and being the cheap-o, penny pinching Mom that I am, I ask if they are pro-rating , since we've missed 4 weeks. The farm manager says, "No we don't pro rate till August"....so I look all sad, and it doesn't seem to get me anywhere. The longer I stay though, the more I like this farm, and I'm loving the answers to all his other questions. I am worried about getting enough tomatoes to can (the 24 plants in the front yard still leave me uneasy somehow...I must have big plans) so he tell me when tomatoes are in full tilt, I'll get my share, and then if I want to go pick more, go for it! Same with Corn. SWEET! So I sign on the dotted line, warm up the CC and fill out my paperwork. As I'm filling out the paperwork, I ask if they grow beets. Mikey and I are loving beets lately. He says, you like beets, I'll give you some beets! I hear give, and that means free, so I say SURE! So he grabs a bag, even asks paper or plastic (which reminds me...I need to bring my cloth bags to the pick-up day) and I say either! He smiles and says,"I'm going to hook you up!" I say great, and we head down the isle and chat about veggies, and animals and stuff, and he fills the plastic bag with 4 big bunches of beets, and I'm THRILLED, almost jumping up and down and telling him about roasting them and how awesome they are. So he looks around and goes and grabs another bag and says, "How about some lettuce? It's a little wilted, but it should come back if it goes in the fridge? Look through and find a couple heads and grab them"....so I find that under the top layer of lettuce, the bottom heads are still beautiful. He says take what you want, at the end of the day, that all goes to the pigs. So I grab 4 heads of beautiful lettuce, 2 red, 2 green. AWESOME! Then I look around and ask if the swiss chard has come in yet, and he says, "YEAH! You like swiss chard?" I'm more than happy to tell this man how much we love swiss chard while he loads up a bag of peas for us, and adds some broccoli to the top of the lettuce bag. He whirls around, grabs a paper bag and says, "Again, some of this has wilted, it was picked on Tuesday, so it will go to the pigs tonight too." (Whoa, it's TWO whole days old??) I laugh and say, well I don't want to take all their dinner! So I only pull out two bunches, and he says, "NAH, some of this is still good!" and hands me FOUR more bunches. Holy Swiss Chard. Then he asks if we've ever had their meat before? I saw, no, I had no idea you were even here! You're a hidden gem back here. So he says, "Can you hold on a second, I'll go grab you a package of our frozen burgers to try." He runs off and I see their burgers are $6.50 a pound, so I doubt we'll be buying many of them, but I'm willing to try them for FREE!

In the end, he had to help me get it all to the car, and he says, "We'll see you tomorrow for your weekly share ok? Oh and come as close to 7 as you can, then I can load you up with all the extras." Ummm.....DEAL.

I just spent an hour prepping all the swiss chard. It came right back, more beautiful than anything we've ever bought in the grocery store. I'm off to shell peas, and prep lettuce.

I love farming....