News!

When you have to go look for a link you posted somewhere else to find your blog...that's bad. Well it's no secret for those that read along that this isn't a steady commitment by any means. I wish it was, I often think..."I should blog that!" I just never seem to get around to it. Tyler is grown by leaps and bounds and so it seems is our family. We decided several short weeks ago that we would be open to adopting again domestically, rather than through foster care, and before we knew it, we were matched! Not only were we matched but it's with an already born baby who is 3 months old today. We have decided to call him Matthew Malachi. We are so in love. Haven't picked him up yet, but are in love none the less :) We will meet him on Tuesday, July 28th, which is also happens is Mike's birthday. We plan to have an open adoption with his birth mother, and hopefully his 1/2 birth siblings as they get older. We can't wait.

Tomorrow we are taking Ty for his last "only child" outing. We are planning to go to Richardson's Dairy. It's a working dairy farm that makes it's own ice cream, and has mini golf too. I don't know why, but I want to take Ty mini-golfing. I'm sure it will be a spectacle. Oh well.

Mike and I are both doing well. I have stopped working because 2 boys, 15 months apart will be work enough, thank you! We still have all the dogs too. I think Daisy will live forever. She's slowing down and turning more grey daily, but she's still a love. Dudley and Dewey are about the same.

Let's see, Ty will be 18 months old on Sunday. Time has flown. I could never have imagined how emotional adopting our second child would be. The raw emotion of Tyler not being my "only" and the deep, intense fear that I will never be able to love another as much as Ty. He's my baby, my little guy. He makes discipline nearly impossible by covering his face with his hands when he sobs. A quick word from Mommy seems to shake my rough tough guy to his very core. Thankfully a hug and kiss and he's quick to forgive and forget, till he does it all over again. He still loves to clap his hands, blow kisses, and call the doggies to come and play. He now calls me "Amy" which is interesting. Loud and clear at the top of his lungs. I'm sure other mothers at the play ground get confused.

Mike has taught him the wonders of puddles, just in time for all the rain we've had. He loves them. Loves all water really. Everyone gets soaked at bath time and he was a star "swimmer" at his lessons earlier this summer. Plays in his little pool for hours, very content with a cup and a couple inches of water. He's a good boy...except when he's not :)

Well I should sign off. I would make all the pretend promises to be here more, but let's be honest, you get what you get. I'm going to have even less time soon :)

Adoptive Families BBQ

Today Mike and I went to a BBQ that was all adoptive families. We had the greatest time. There was a circle of families, all with babies about Ty's age...many of them also black, and it was so nice, to sit among other "non matching" families and feel like we were the norm. We accepted when we adopted Ty that we were also accepting the additional attention, but sometimes, it's nice to be the same as everyone else. We met a single Mom there that has a black baby boy that is one month older and 10 pounds heavier than Ty. They are truly on opposite sides of the growth charts :) However if we both stay in Amesbury, they would be in the same class through school. How cool is that! She wants us to get together every other month or so and talk about the things we each do to that help us raise a child successfully in a transracial adoption. I think that would really be a great support for us!

We also met a wonderful little girl, Tess who was adopted from Ethiopia. I am really hoping that in 2010, I'll be making a trip to Ethiopia, but we're going to see where our journey takes us. We know that Ty will have siblings (I'm hoping for many) but it remains to be seen how they will find us. We had faith that the "right" child would find us, and be our first child, so we'll keep the faith that all our children will find us when the time is right...

We three....

So now that we're a family, we clearly needed new vehicles...two of them? I don't know....so Mike got a new Honda Element (I'm so jealous, it's wicked cool) and I got the "Mom" car. A new Honda Pilot...not shabby to say the least, but at the same time, not quite as cool as Mike's, but WAY cooler than the minivan.

Tyler and Mike are both doing great. Mike is getting stronger everyday, but he still naps sometimes. Both boys are napping now actually. Ty is getting so much bigger. I know how fast the time will fly, so I'm not at all anxious for each milestone. I'll be happy when they get here, but they can wait a month or so. We have heard from Ty's birth mom a few times since we've been home. It sounds like they are getting the counseling they need, and that with the help of the social worker will tell the older children about Tyler. They had no idea that their mom was pregnant or anything. I do not know when they plan to tell the rest of their family, but my guess is that once a 5 and 6 year old know something, it's really not a secret anymore. She did ask me to send her a picture of Mike, Ty and I together so she would have something to show them visually. We made sure to include that in the photos we just mailed along with a letter about what Ty has been up to, and how much he weighs etc. It's hard writing a letter to your child's birth parents. What do you say? How can I explain how amazing having Ty in our lives is and how much we cherish each smile and squeak without sounding like a jerk? I believe she does want to hear all about him, so I tell her. I know reading it may make it more difficult for her, but it will also give her some peace.

Everyone expected us to have a hard time since we were adopting transracially. To be honest, I'm sure at SOME point that will be tough. We've gotten looks already. What is the hardest is the terminology and casual conversation with people I care about. Terminology is so hard. To hear my own parents or friends refer to Ty's "parents" and what they do for work, and what their situation is in life. WE are Ty's parents. Do I correct EVERYONE? Do I just hope the discussion regarding birth parents will die down and I won't have to hear about and answer questions about Ty's "mother"? I'm Ty's mother...right? How can people not see that and understand? Typically I do try to answer back and use the term birth mom, and some people pick that up and grasp it. I know they mean no harm, I know they just want to support us. Hopefully with time, and education, people will get it more.

We're in Missouri!

So we're in Missouri! I'm sure most of you have heard that we got OUR call. On Sunday January 27th, around 2:30, we got a call about an already born baby boy in Missouri. We agreed to be submitted to this birthmom and from the first second it was totally different. We were nervous like we hadn't been in any of the other situations... Less than an hour later we got the call. Get on a plane to St. Louis! So we did. By Monday January 28th, at 1:15 we were on the ground in St. Louis, on our way to the hospital to meet a baby who we hoped would be our future son. I can't even being to describe the emotions of that day, and the following days. We met a baby boy, whose birthmom had waited for US to name. We named him Tyler David and were in love in minutes. He is just the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Based on Missouri law he had to go into cradle care till the birth parents terminated their rights and we went before the judge for the transfer of custody. Tyler's birth parents chose to attend court even though they had terminated their rights two days before. They are amazing, and strong and love him so much. We'll stay in touch with them always, and hope to see them again before we leave St. Louis.

So for now we are camped out at a Residence Inn in St. Louis. Just watched the Pats lose the super bowl, which stinks! I would have liked for Ty's first super bowl to be a winning one, but maybe next year I guess. We hope to be back home in Massachusetts mid to late next week. The sooner the better since there are lots of family and friends back home that can't wait to hold this baby!

Talk to everyone soon!
Amy, Mike and Tyler

Adoption

I think I speak Adoption language in my sleep. Birth mother, revocation, living expenses...it's our whole freaking life. At least I thought so? For some reason whenever there is an immediate decision to make, Mike is missing. Today I get another call (YIKES! A CALL!) from our agency out in Utah. This is an agency that I almost called to have a temper tantrum at last night. Thankfully (maybe) I didn't...that's a long story filled with nights were Mike and I are up till 4, getting up at 7 and over-nighting packages (at $30 each). It was a crazy time, and I'm intensely grateful that for right now, it's behind us, so I'll not comment on what I was going to tantrum about to them last night. Anyway, today...they call. They call my WORK. They call my work without even trying my cell phone. That shows intense urgency. So I listen...urgently...if that's possible. She says...We have a birth mom. In. Labor. Now. (!these are killer situations....no stress right?!) Would you like to hear about it? SURE! Never mind your typing up the main line at work, and my boss is shooting daggers at my head with his eyes. I want to hear now. So I get all the details and it all sounds good. Everything sounds good! So she asks if I want to talk it over with Mike and call her back. Call her back about the expectant mother that's "in a good labor pattern now, and I'm on my way over in 5 minutes to give her the profiles" . She thinks I'm going to risk calling her back when never in the time I've known her, have I ever called her cell phone and had her actually answer? Last night her cell phone actually wouldn't even accept anymore messages! I'm not letting her off the phone. BUT, Mike is not on-line for immediate comment so I joke with her that he doesn't really need to comment, and I tell her to go ahead. All the while the little voice in the back of my head is saying...but...but...THIS is the agency that is 2X as much as the others...but...but...this is the agency you don't really like....in the state with laws you don't really agree with....this is THAT agency Amy. I tell the little voice to shut the F up. This mom is in labor!

Details anyone?

Full African American Baby BOY! expected to be around 10 pounds (what could we ever bring her to thank her for going through THAT??) This is her 5th baby, all with the same man, who is also at the hospital and willing to sign the adoption papers. (that doesn't happen often)

She wants a semi open adoption with pictures and letters after the adoption. She is from FL, and is freezing her butt of at the agency which is located in state that is colder than the North Pole right now apparently.

Here's why I'm *trying* not to get my hopes up:

1) This expectant mom is petite (about 5'4) and slender (when she's not carrying a 10pound baby I guess) so I tend to think that she won't really be draw to us "huskier" folks. Then again, she's carrying a freaking 10 POUND baby...I guess there is a chance that the expectant father isn't as petite.

2) She is freezing her butt off...is she really going to be inclined to place her baby in MA, where the baby can freeze IT'S butt off 5 months of every year? I had always hoped that people that lived in warm climates might be drawn to us because we have snow and maybe they idealized snow. Clearly this woman is not idealizing anything about the cold right now.

3) We are...WHITE...she and the expectant father aren't. If there are any African American or even Bi-Racial Couple also being submitted, there is a good chance she will choose them. It's just the way it works. We did demonstrate our diversity in our families in our profile, so hopefully she will see that.

4) Our house looks pretty ghetto on the outside. I don't think anyone looks at the picture of our house and thinks how cute it is really. Plus she lives in FL...cost of living is so much lower down there that she has no idea what a house like we have actually cost us. I bet she looks at our house and wants to keep her baby.

I haven't spent all day thinking about this...really! I haven't. I didn't get the call till lunch-time.

If this is our baby, he will find us. If it isn't...we are submitted on 4 other situations right now too. Hopefully one of those will work out. Pray for our sanity...mine anyway....

My first new blog post!

Well I'm not crazy about the blogging aspects of myspace, so I thought I would give a new method a shot since I do enjoy blogging :) I'll hope to get on most days, but since life is busy, but not really that interesting...I can't promise that.

Case in point, our interesting topic for today is bricks...no really, it's bricks! More specifically a score of bricks from a chimney being taken off a house over 100 years old. We recently took down the extra chimeny off our own house, and saved all our bricks to add a patio on the side of the house, with these extra bricks, hopefully we'll have enough! We're going to reclaim part of the back yard from the dogs, and make the patio run the whole length of that side. Hopefully there will be enought room for a few lines of clothesline to hang out some clothes, but we'll have to see...

So YEAH! Bricks :)

Nothing new on the adoption front, right now we are submitted on two situations, one boy, due Feb 15th, and one girl, who was due today. We haven't heard 'no' on the one due today, so we'll keep hoping. That expectant mother is due in a state with a 10 day revocation period, so those agencies do tend to notify the choosen family after the baby is born...We'll just have to see! We went over to Erina and Brad's tonight though, and she helped me bang out 6 more profiles so we can get them mailed. Those things are so time consuming! We are sending 8 to an agency in Ohio since we heard they have an extremely low pool of families accepting infants that are not Caucasian. I guess they did 5 infant placements about a week ago that were all African American, so their pool is even lower....sounds good to us :)

Well make sure we let you all know as soon as we hear more on any of the potential situations!