I think I speak Adoption language in my sleep. Birth mother, revocation, living expenses...it's our whole freaking life. At least I thought so? For some reason whenever there is an immediate decision to make, Mike is missing. Today I get another call (YIKES! A CALL!) from our agency out in Utah. This is an agency that I almost called to have a temper tantrum at last night. Thankfully (maybe) I didn't...that's a long story filled with nights were Mike and I are up till 4, getting up at 7 and over-nighting packages (at $30 each). It was a crazy time, and I'm intensely grateful that for right now, it's behind us, so I'll not comment on what I was going to tantrum about to them last night. Anyway, today...they call. They call my WORK. They call my work without even trying my cell phone. That shows intense urgency. So I listen...urgently...if that's possible. She says...We have a birth mom. In. Labor. Now. (!these are killer situations....no stress right?!) Would you like to hear about it? SURE! Never mind your typing up the main line at work, and my boss is shooting daggers at my head with his eyes. I want to hear now. So I get all the details and it all sounds good. Everything sounds good! So she asks if I want to talk it over with Mike and call her back. Call her back about the expectant mother that's "in a good labor pattern now, and I'm on my way over in 5 minutes to give her the profiles" . She thinks I'm going to risk calling her back when never in the time I've known her, have I ever called her cell phone and had her actually answer? Last night her cell phone actually wouldn't even accept anymore messages! I'm not letting her off the phone. BUT, Mike is not on-line for immediate comment so I joke with her that he doesn't really need to comment, and I tell her to go ahead. All the while the little voice in the back of my head is saying...but...but...THIS is the agency that is 2X as much as the others...but...but...this is the agency you don't really like....in the state with laws you don't really agree with....this is THAT agency Amy. I tell the little voice to shut the F up. This mom is in labor!
Full African American Baby BOY! expected to be around 10 pounds (what could we ever bring her to thank her for going through THAT??) This is her 5th baby, all with the same man, who is also at the hospital and willing to sign the adoption papers. (that doesn't happen often)
She wants a semi open adoption with pictures and letters after the adoption. She is from FL, and is freezing her butt of at the agency which is located in state that is colder than the North Pole right now apparently.
Here's why I'm *trying* not to get my hopes up:
1) This expectant mom is petite (about 5'4) and slender (when she's not carrying a 10pound baby I guess) so I tend to think that she won't really be draw to us "huskier" folks. Then again, she's carrying a freaking 10 POUND baby...I guess there is a chance that the expectant father isn't as petite.
2) She is freezing her butt off...is she really going to be inclined to place her baby in MA, where the baby can freeze IT'S butt off 5 months of every year? I had always hoped that people that lived in warm climates might be drawn to us because we have snow and maybe they idealized snow. Clearly this woman is not idealizing anything about the cold right now.
3) We are...WHITE...she and the expectant father aren't. If there are any African American or even Bi-Racial Couple also being submitted, there is a good chance she will choose them. It's just the way it works. We did demonstrate our diversity in our families in our profile, so hopefully she will see that.
4) Our house looks pretty ghetto on the outside. I don't think anyone looks at the picture of our house and thinks how cute it is really. Plus she lives in FL...cost of living is so much lower down there that she has no idea what a house like we have actually cost us. I bet she looks at our house and wants to keep her baby.
I haven't spent all day thinking about this...really! I haven't. I didn't get the call till lunch-time.
If this is our baby, he will find us. If it isn't...we are submitted on 4 other situations right now too. Hopefully one of those will work out. Pray for our sanity...mine anyway....