My sense of obligation...

How appropriately titled my last post was! It's been about 3 weeks since I even thought of posting. Not that we haven't be busy...but who isn't? Everyone is busy.

Well Ty Bear is doing a little better. We had a rough few weeks where he was throwing up all the time. When I brought him to the Doctor to be checked, he had only put on the minimum amount of weight that they like to see. 1 pound exactly. They said if he didn't do better between 3-4 months then we would talk at his 4 months. I was pretty worried. This mothering thing is hard. So a few days after that (and a few sleepless nights of me laying awake worrying) he decided to show me his "stuff"...he rolled over! Big Tough Guy! It did help me realize that even if he is on the small side, he's thriving. Now the last week or so he's been waking up again at night to pound a bubba. He's been eating really well, and keeping almost everything down. Growing himself a little belly even! I think we'll be fine at the 4 month appointment so I'm not worrying anymore (about that anyway!)

Did I mention how hard this mothering thing is??? The worst part...the freaking daycare. You would think given my background I could have a healthy respect for Ty bonding to his daycare worker. I don't. I hate her. I work a long 8 hour day, and drag my butt over there and inside and all I want is a smile. It will make my day worth it, and the drive home (sitting in traffic) so much easier. Just a little smile Ty honey...it's my drug that helps me make it home at night. This baby will NOT look at me when I get there. It makes me cry...every. day. I don't know if he's punishing me, he's tired (he always sleeps on the way home) or what, but he won't look at me, make eye contact or smile for me. Yesterday he went one step further by not only ignoring me, but hamming it up for the daycare lady, who is damn lucky I left her alive when we went home. I don't want or need to see my kid smile at you lady. I know I miss the smiles and giggles and coos all day. I get that...when I get here, don't remind me that I pay you to enjoy my kid all day. Let me pack up and get out of here without the show of how much he loves you. Wicked healthy right? I'm a moron. I know he needs to attach to her, but it is SO hard. It sucks. Once we get home, and he's napped on the way home, he's much better. Right back to his old self and smiling and laughing at me, and we play the up down game and sing songs, but I'm starting to dread going to get him at night. I told Mike we need to get a daycare in Amesbury so he can do some of the drop-offs and pick-ups too. We should suffer equally.

This past weekend we had my 30th birthday party. I was telling everyone it took me a month to get used to the idea...really we just waited for nicer weather. The weather was a little chilly, but nice. It was a fun day for the most part. Lot of work though.

Mike and I have developed the BEST game we play with Tyler. We do it so much he's ready for it now and starts to laugh. Mike put Ty in front of him and then makes Ty's legs kick me. I say, OH OH...if you kick me I'm gonna get you!" and I start at his toes and walk my fingers up till they are right at his neck and give him a little tickle. We do this over and over and as soon as I put my finger on his toes he starts cracking up...it's hysterical. Unfortunately, Tyler is camera shy. We bought a video camera and he just refuses to perform for it. Mike says he's not camera "shy" he's camera "curious" because all he can do is stare at it with big huge eyes. Hopefully we'll have a movie of the giggling soon though.

Sometimes there is just too much to do...

This past weekend we finally got around to putting up the wall to divide that long funky back room into two separate rooms. Our brother in law came over, and since my sister had one kid at gymnastics, the other kid was here with us. More correctly here with me, since all the guys were working. When Erina called after gymnastics were over to see how little Brielle (11 months old) was doing I said OK. See Brielle is 11 months, she wants to move and crawl and get into everything. If she can reach it, she wants to eat it. WE however have a TWO month old. That means that we aren't crawl proof. Not even a little bit. So I spent the majority of the time juggling Ty and Brielle. She would only watch TV for so long and then she wanted to get down, or be held. Held she was. When Erina called to say she was on her way, I had just about had enough. I told Erina I was thinking about putting her in one of the large dog kennels with a bunch of toys so she could play. I rationalized it was just like a play pen, about the same size, and it had a roof...even safer! Erina's amazingly cool, "I'm a mom of 2" response? "Wouldn't there still be a lot of dog hair in there?" Honestly....*I* was joking, but if that's all she cares about, next time I am happy to sweep the dog cage out, THEN load it with toys and her daughter and shut the door. Apparently that is an acceptable form of child care once you have more than one child. Mike and I are SO all set. We have two cages that large, and even a small one for a real little baby! Bring on more kids :)

Ramblings of a 30 year old

That's right, you all read it, I'm 30. Thirty years ago today, I blessed my parents with another baby girl. I know that they not so secretly wanted a boy, but I believe that they were still over joyed with me, even given my squashed face and funky hair do. Whether Erina was over joyed with me, and over joyed at being a big sister is a point that continues to be debated. I'd like to think at this point in our lives, despite how many times she made statements to the contrary, she is happy she wasn't an only child. Honestly, she would have been really bored. She knows it's true.

So as I look back on 30 years (well, more like maybe 22-24 that I can remember), I do get sort of nostalgic. Thinking back over all the paths I've taken, and where each little road led me. I think of all the things that have happened. Some I wonder, "WHAT was I thinking?" Others I simply laugh. Mostly I am just so very thankful for everything that has happened to me. Everything? you might ask....Everything. I can't think of anything in my life that happened that I regret. I can think of times when I wish I had acted differently, or been more responsible. I can think of times when I wish I had been less responsible too. Over all though, it's all led me right here. Right here to this little white house, with my amazing husband, and wonderful son. A house that sometimes upsets me, but keeps us cozy and dry. A husband who might not be the best communicator ever born, but is the sweetest, most wonderful husband a women could ask for or dream of. And a son...a son who is just beginning this amazing journey. A son who's eyes teach me to enjoy all the simple things in life all over again. A beautiful son, who reminds me that a smile that comes from the heart is more powerful than any words or material possession.

So I'm thirty...big deal. Right now, in this time and place, I have it all.

Spit-up, Throw-up and Poop

So Ty stopped pooping. He was constipated. He was so far beyond constipated, it was silly. He just didn't poop. Clearly the Soy was not the cure all we had hoped for. Since he was schedule for a 2 month appointment next week, I just called and asked them to switch it to this week, and we went in yesterday. All his physcial reports were great! He was 10 lbs, 12 ozs, and 22 1/4 inches long. She said he had amazing muscle tone for an almost 8 week old, and his head control was really great for his age. Then the nutritional discussion... Based on his skin, lack of poop, throw up and acid reflux, she said he has clearly developed a milk/protien allergy, so he started Zantac (not covered by insurance) and Similac Alimentum ($$, and most likely, not covered by insurance either). So far today, he seems a little better, but still hasn't really pooped much, but has seemed a little happier, so that's good I guess. Right now, he's very tired, but not wanting to go to sleep. Too bad kiddo, it's bedtime!

Not a lot going on...

Ty is getting bigger everyday. He's push himself up off our chest when he lays on our stomachs, and he's babbling and cooing up a storm. We ended up switching him to Soy, and it has helped a LOT. Hopefully we'll be able to switch him back to regualr formula in a few months, but for right now, he was just so gassy, and backed up he was getting pretty unhappy. Switching to Soy seems like a small price to pay when it keeps him so much more comfortable :)

I have two weeks of maternity leave left. I can't believe that the time has godne by so quickly. Of course we were just a little bit busy! I'll go back part time for a couple weeks, and then move to full-time in mid-April. I'm not real happy about it, but what can ya do?

Lady bugs are still in full swing here in the Callahan house. No idea what if anything we can do about that. A few people have told us they are attracted to white houses.

Well I have tons of stuff to do before I can head out and go shopping so I better get to it!

Invasion 2008

we're being invaded. Not by diapers or binki's or onsies. Okay, all those things ARE invading our home, but that isn't what this *this* blog is about. We are being invaded by LADY BUGS. It's like revenge of the lady bugs here. I'm not sure if they have just realized that since we got a boy, and not girl, they will not be featured in the new nursery, or if they just love our house. Seriously...there are hundreds of them. There are so many of them that today when we left the house to go to Babies R Us, we wandered around and around the store, and we bought some stuff, and then we went out for dinner, and we ate and we got ready to leave that there, walking up the side of Ty's bucket carrier was a freaking lady bug. Four hours after we had left the house! The first few lady bugs I saw were so sweet and cute, and now I stomp on the little f-ers even if I think they are already dead. I can't look out a window with out seeing one climb up it. I can't sit on my couch without finding one dead, stuck to my blanket! Where are they all coming from?? I have ONE crocus in the yard! Spring is not here yet! I agree it's coming, but these little creatures are out sunning themselves like it's May and we should be breaking out the bathings suits.

Okay, I'm going to bed. If you can't find us tomorrow, we've been carried of the the secret lady bug hideout that is somewhere in this house...

Tyler's Birth Family

We heard from Ty's Birth mom tonight. She got the letter and pictures I sent on Monday, and was just thrilled with them. She can't believe how big he is getting (that makes two of us!), and how alert he is. If there is 1 comment we ALWAYS get about him it's is, "Wow, he's so alert!" Actually first they say how cute he is, and then how alert his is for his age. They have been saying that since he was 5 days old...I told her all about how well he was eating, and sleeping, and how much he loved the dogs and how much Dewey loves him. She did tell her family about Ty and the adoption, and they were all very supportive and happy to see the pictures of him. I'm so glad she finally got that out in the open and she has the support she needs from her family now. I guess Ty's birth sister who is 6 asked if she could write to us, and I told her that was fine. That should be interesting, I'm not sure what 6 year olds write about!

Ty was Mr. Smiles today. He watches us more and more and does the big open mouth smiles, and smirks when we act silly to him. It makes my heart melt....